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Feelings of Guilt When Mom Moves to Senior Living

July 17, 2019

Many adult caregivers express feelings of guilt when it’s time to move mom to a community. It’s easy to let those moments of doubt sneak in – even when you know you made the right choice. However, letting go of those feelings of guilt is important to your well-being. When you have thoughts that lead to guilt, use these tips to focus on what’s important.

I worry that I’m failing mom.

If you made an important decision that provides mom with the best care, then you haven’t failed. You may have hoped to be her primary caregiver, or you promised to keep her at home. However, remember what’s most important – giving mom great care that fits her needs – even if you aren’t the one who can provide it. Also, be careful not to compare your situation to others. Every senior is different, and what’s right for another person may not be right for your mom.

I won’t get to spend enough time with her.

Less time together may be an adjustment – especially if mom lived in or near your home. However, you may find that it benefits you both. Taking time for yourself is essential to your health. For mom, the opportunity to be around others like her improves her well-being too. Communities provide valuable social connections that she might not get elsewhere. So, don’t let guilt get in the way of the time you do have together. You’ll find new ways to stay connected.

I feel like I’m deserting mom.

By choosing a community, you’ve ensured that mom gets the right care. That’s the opposite of abandoning her. By making the hard decisions – like getting her additional support – you’re showing how important her well-being is to you. If you start having this common feeling, remember to focus on how much she gains through her new living arrangements. With routine visits and meaningful moments, you’ll be able to stay connected to mom no matter her location.

I lose my patience and then feel guilty.

Frustrations are bound to happen in any relationship. When you add the stress that comes with navigating care decisions for your mom, it can especially be hard. Don’t let guilt take over. Many times, if you feel like mom is trying your patience, it’s a sign that you may need some time to care for yourself. According to the AARP, taking a break is necessary for your emotional health. When you feel supported, you’ll be able to support your mom.

As you and mom adjust to her new community, it’s likely that any feelings of guilt will slowly go away. At Autumn Leaves, we’re here to guide you both through the transition to senior living. Learn more about our community and how we can make it as stress-free – and guilt-free – as possible.

Call 214-328-4161 and let us help you navigate this journey.

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