May 7, 2019
The decision to move your parent to an independent or assisted living community may be hard on your parent – and hard on you. If you’re feeling worried or have some fears about the change, know that these emotions are very common. Here, we’ll tackle some common fears and focus on how you can support your dad or mom instead.
As with any big move, there may be a period of adjustment. However, this is only part of the picture. Instead of focusing on what your parent might miss, focus on all he/she will gain. Senior living communities provide many ways to get your parent engaged. Plus, he/she will feel safer and get the support needed. If you’re worried, talk with your parent’s community or other residents. Sometimes it helps to get the perspective of someone who has already been through the same change.
You may find yourself worrying that dad or mom will lose his/her ability to stay active. When you aren’t familiar with senior living activities, you may not realize how much they have to offer. Most communities get to know your parent’s interests and encourage him/her to engage in activities that he/she will enjoy. With transportation options, new friends nearby, and numerous activities, dad/mom will have plenty of chances to be active.
Most importantly, senior living helps reduce feelings of isolation. Staying in the family home may have actually caused issues with mobility or loneliness. At the new community, he/she will have the support needed to stay active longer.
Often, we think we’re the only ones who can provide mom the “right” care. However, you may find that what’s right for dad/mom isn’t to stay where he/she is. According to the AARP, the right care for your parent meets his/her needs now and for years to come – even if you aren’t the one who can provide it.
To help you feel confident that you’ve made the best choice, do your research, talk with her doctor for guidance, and ask questions. To more easily compare communities, gather the same information about safety, nutrition, activities, medications, etc., from every visit.
Even if you’re worried about finances, know that you have many options. If your parent has a life insurance policy, ask about converting part of it. Be sure you factor in profits from the sale of your parent’s home into your financial picture too. Once you’ve totaled the costs, then compare them to all of the costs of dad/mom staying at home. You may find the monthly totals aren’t too far apart. Check out our helpful Cost of Living Comparison worksheet.
You may have some feelings of guilt initially. But, don’t let these become a reason to avoid making a good decision. When feelings of guilt come up, refocus on why you made your decision in the first place. If moving your parent means he/she iss getting the right support, then you’re doing the right thing. If you’re really struggling with negative feelings, talk with a counselor. He or she can help you process the many emotions you’re feeling.
Need help with the transition to a senior living community? Learn more about our community and how we support you through each step.
Call (214) 328-4161 today and discuss your needs.